At some point or another, every family is going to experience stress or crisis in their family. The real question is how they respond to a specific event and the outcome. To better understand these two types of experiences, I will give you my definition of them. Stress is pressure but the ability to bounce back. Crisis is a temporary or permanent change. Now that we understand these two terms a little better, let's give some examples. Accidents, Moving, Surgeries, Death, Internal Strife, Cancer, Natural Disaster, Major Purchases, Attempted Suicide, Divorce, Gambling, Job Change, Loss of Faith are just some of the experiences that families can experience. You may have already experienced some of these yourself. You are now probably wondering how we can better deal with these natural causes of life so that we don't crumble.
The routines that I am about to express may seem simple, may be even too simple, but as these simple things continue during crisis or stress the family will be more successful. WISE AND EFFECTIVE FAMILIES... Have dinner together, at the table. There are many studies that show the significant effects of family dinner. If there were a major shift such as death of a parent, although it may be extremely difficult and almost impossible, continuing this ritual can bring peace, comfort and strength to a family. Accept each individual member means that they feel safe at home. If a family had just moved to a new place, the family may feel nervous about going and trying to make friends. If a child returns home after a day of no friend making and feels safe and comfortable at home, then it is not as big of a deal, because he/she may have help/ support and someone to lean on at home. On the other hand, if a child does not have this at home, it may be shattering for a child and they may even feel like they have no one. Talk about it. When a family is actively and openly talking about a particular problem, then everyone is able to understand the circumstances. When I was 11, my family decided to move to Texas for my dad to get a job. Rather than him getting a job, my mom ended up getting a job. After just a few months of looking at houses, and almost buying one, we decided to move back. This experience could have gone very different, but my parents involved us kids. We talked about moving, went to look at houses together, and we eventually ended up talking about moving back. Although we still don't know why we ended up moving their and back, it made the experience one that we could bounce back from. Activities. This may sound weird, but as family regularly doing thing together, that family is able to stick together during difficult situations. Family Home Evening, Watching Movies Together, Playing Sports Together or Cooking Together are just some of the examples of activities. One of my favorite activities that my family did was going on family vacation. Don't get me wrong those trips were not always perfect with conflict and we often longed for our own beds to sleep in when it was over, but it was a bonding time for me. Sometimes we didn't have the money to go to the place that we had gone the year before, but we always had a trip. It was consistent. Coping is making very small adjustments in order to deal with stress and pressure. A coping saw is a tool used to cut molding. If done right the molding fits together seamlessly. During this process, one would measure every wall in the room and start with the shorter side, you want pieces that continue from one side of he wall to the other father that strips. Another critical point is that by cutting the piece so that they perfectly fit they are able to withstand the pressure that comes from being pushed together. At this point, you may be wondering where I am going with this. Let me tell you. By measuring the situation, we are able to understand the situation and then start with the little things (shorter wall). As you are piece them together you may also not chop off an entire piece or throw it away when it doesn't fit right. Instead you are going to make little changes. After this, you see that it is seamless an not able to shift although there may be great pressure on it. Although, I discovered many topics about stress, crisis, and coping, I hope that you are able to understand a few of them from the things that I shared. If you have any questions, comments or want to know more, comment below!
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Kelli-MarieI am a junior at Brigham Young University-Idaho, studying Marriage and Family Studies. Archives
March 2017
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