Communication comes in all different ways, but do you know the percentage of types of communication that we use on a regular basis? WORDS.................................14% TONE.......................................35% NONVERBAL........................51% It is natural that we trust someone's tone more if their words contradict and if their nonverbal actions are contrasting the tone we typically trust that. Odds are if all three are contradicting we may not have any idea what to believe! THE FEEDBACK LOOP: The feedback loop is how we communicate with others, how they communicated with us and how we think we think we are communicating with one another. This can get a little sticky if you can't tell. We need to clearly use our three forms of communication to say somethings. There was an incident about two months ago with my husband and I. Somethings dramatic had occurred in our life and we were frustrated, confused, lost and scared. When something like this happens to me, I want to talk about it, work it out verbally. When thing like this happens with my husband, he is reserved and quiet. This leads me to think that there is something wrong, especially with me. I try to think about what I could have done to make him made and how to fix it and in some ways makes me feel more reserved as well. Later after things had settled down, I realized that my husband wasn't mad or upset with me but just the situation. If we had communicated more effectively an understood how the other dealt with there frustrations it may had prevented the confusion.
COUNCILS: The general outline for Family Councils looks a little like this: Preface: set a side a time regular to have these councils, then each member can be prepared and have that time set aside. 1. expression of love/ appreciation for every member of the family 2. open with prayer to do God's will 3. discussion to consensus regarding His will "Surprising Openness" 4. closing prayer 5. chocolate, pie, dessert, etc. The most difficult part of marriage is making decisions TOGETHER! The most important thing to remember about councils, is that it's not not he decision that you make, but it is more important how you came to the decision.
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Kelli-MarieI am a junior at Brigham Young University-Idaho, studying Marriage and Family Studies. Archives
March 2017
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