Satan works hard to twist the most beautiful things into evil and deceiving things. Sexual relations have become one of those things. Especially in the church, I have found that having a baby is either the greatest thing in the world or it's the worst. This is because as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that pre-martial sex and sex outside of marriage is one of the most vial sins. What we don't, as members of the church, is realize the divine gift that our Heavenly Father has given us--the creation of life. There is a specific time and order that this must occur though.
I didn't realize until I was married just how wonderful the commandments of dating were. We are encouraged to not date until the wonderful age of sixteen, and even at that point we are encouraged to group date until we are eighteen. These commandments often seem to be holding us back from the love life we long to have, but how many of us are ready to get married at twelve, fourteen, sixteen, or even eighteen for that matter? Single dating is for those who are looking for an eternal companion. Until we are ready for that quest, what is the point of becoming emotionally attached and possibly hurt. When I got married, I was so grateful to be able to share the sacred and beautiful responsibility of creating life with someone who had also been faithful to keeping those commandments. It suddenly all made sense! God wasn't trying to punish us, but rather he was setting guidelines and rules to help His children experience great joy and happiness as two of His children made covenants to be faithful to one another. Being sealed to Nathan for time and all eternity is such a blessing and I wish that every teenager would be able to feel a little bit of that joy. I believe that if we can understand why the commandments are there long before we are even tempted to break them we will be able to experience great joy as we enter the bonds of marriage. Another topic I would like to touch on is TRANSITIONS. For members of the church we grow up learning that sexual relations are wrong and evil and should never be thought of or discussed. And then we get married and are encouraged to participate in every act that we have thought of as immoral. At least for me, this was an extremely awkward transition. After being married, I found that my husband and I were very different. We have different ways that we become more attracted to another. This was never thought in a Sunday School or Young Women's lesson. (What an awkward lesson that would be!) My husband and I had to discuss these differences and realize that it was unnatural for us to be on the same page. Many couples, may not understand that the other works and functions difference then them. This unawareness, may create tension and frustration, which might also lead to no sexual relations, if the couple has already stopped the hugs, kisses, and holding hands that developed before marriage. This couple then has no opportunities to create. THE DIVINE PURPOSE FOR WHICH THEY WERE CREATED! I started by talking about transitions, but I believe that there really isn't a better way to transition, but rather that there is better way to have healthier relationships. By creating health relationships of communication, couples are able to discuss important topics of hurt, expectation and enjoyment in marriage. The small things that make us different won't be a wedge on the marriage if the couple know how to respectfully talk with one another about these issues. FRIENDS of Opposite Gender after Marriage. I am just going to start off by saying: If you wouldn't feel good about your spouse doing it, then you shouldn't be doing it. Having friends of the opposite gender can create wedges in your marriage if you are going to them with problems rather than your spouse, spouses may begin to compare themselves to those who get more of your time, and you can being to have an emotional connection with them even if your didn't originally plan to. Couples need to set boundaries right from the beginning and continue to discuss issues as the arise.
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Kelli-MarieI am a junior at Brigham Young University-Idaho, studying Marriage and Family Studies. Archives
March 2017
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